Brown Eyes

 [In Loving Memory of Baby]

  July 21st 2007 – May 5th 2010

How can I cope with the loss of my pug: Baby?
Those brown eyes that sparkled with love.
That wide smile with the tongue sticking out.
Can someone answer why has to be our loved ones that have to die?

I never wanted a pug.
This was before I met Baby.
Back in the day, to me pugs were ugly.
I wanted something cute like a Yorkie for example.
Then along came Baby.

He was strolling down the street July of the year 2007.
I never bothered to go after him.
Someone's dog was all I thought.
Then before I knew what happened
a family member brought him into the house.

He was panting.
Exhausted from what it seemed to be a long walk.
He had no collar.

That is when I decided to feed and bathe the pug.
That is when we fell in love.
July 21st of 2007.

All I can do is to remember the good times.
Like when I was swimming underwater,
when suddenly I heard a ker-splash!!
I turned around and saw a swarm of bubbles before me,
who would have guessed,
a pair of brown eyes twinkling at me.

Summer soon turned to fall,
Halloween was our favorite holiday.
Baby was dressed up as a hot dog
and ready to go.

I had to take the younger siblings out trick-or-treating,
so Baby tagged along. And boy was he spoiled.
We came home with extra bags of candy AND doggy treats!
Baby was one happy dog.

Christmas would be another favorite holiday. Why?
Because Santa Baby came to town.
He was decked out in his Santa uniform and managed not to end up on the naughty
side of the list.

He helped out with the gifts,
by unwrapping them of course.
He loved his new pet bed and pillow.

In March, we head up north for some snow.
Baby built a snowman by digging his paws into the snow
and we just helped him add a face to the paw-made snowman.
Did he stay long to see it completed?
Nope. He wanted to go warm up in the hotel hot tub.
Spoiled pug.

Baby had changed into many different costumes.
and visited many states. Went shopping and doggy beaches.
Those brown eyes filled with sparkle.

Cindo de Mayo 2010. Baby was crying all night, heaving deep breaths.
I knew it was the day. I called in our vet. It was time.
My father drove me to the Animal Hospital.
There I sat those antagonizing minutes in the white room.

Baby was wrapped in his blanket.
Those brown eyes were fixed on me…Moist.
I looked deep into those eyes.
My heart fell. I knew I need to tell him again.
So I told him...

"I love you. Baby, I love you. Do you know that?"
His tail wagged with those brown eyes sparkling dimly.
That's when the nurse took him away. The last time I saw him.

I am crying as I am writing this. He has been my only best friend.
He has shown me that it is what counts on the inside not the outside.
He has been my journal of the times I cried at life's misfortunes.
He has been there through the sick days and the sunshine beach days.

I wish cancer did not take him away from me.
I wish that cancer did not take any family member away.
Unfortunately, it does.
Now I'm only asking: why?
Why did this happen?
Why did it happen to my brown eyed friend?

Baby was put down on May 5th of 2010.
A big piece of me was taken away on that day.
Now I am asking for help. I really need comfort.
I hate having those stating that "Baby was just a dog, get over it"
or "you'll soon move on to better things."

How can I cope with this misery I'm living with right now?
How am I supposed to live without those Brown eyes??

Views: 53

Replies to This Discussion

Sorry for missing words and grammar. I was just to emotional when I wrote this. My tears blinded me while I poured my heart out.
Here is the only thing I can tell you right now. Your heart will heal with time, and you will never forget Baby he will always be in the little corner of heart. He will be safe and loved forever there. His soul will with those waiting at the bridge for their friends and family, and remember his is playing and having fun with all the others there while he waits for you. One day you will get another pet, maybe another pug, and he will not replace Baby, he will just take up another corner of your heart. So I hope this will help give you some comfort, as it has been just about a year since we had to put our Lulu down. I feel for you.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Thank you for the comforting words. It has been a tough summer without him. Irreplaceable! I have two pugs now but they can never take his place. My first and former Baby has been my everything just like your Lulu. It's true what you said about everything.
Dogs do visit from Rainbow Bridge. I firmly believe that because in time of grief, I had my Baby scratch at my door or snore while I took a bath. He wasn't there physically but he was there. He stayed near but when my grieving ended (which really never ends - just comes and go) : he was truly gone. And thats when this new Baby & Little Miss Lulu arrived. It was pure luck though..or was it Baby? Because pug puppies are expensive..I got these two for little than $200 or free. It was all a coincidence but I believe Baby must have done something to cheer me up.

I try to think happy thoughts but its 4 months and I can still remember coming home with his collar, sitting down in the living room, taking one of the pillow from sofa, placing it in my face and then screaming out in agony. It was weird but I had to let it all out because I had bottled it up at the vets so I didn't look like a psycho. People here automatically call you a "depressed" person the moment you let out your feelings. But I'm not depressed - I just had a death in the family and had to live with it But as of now I will grieve.

This is proof of how pets can really influence one's lives.
They are like real family members and like human beings.
If they only had a chance to talk I bet they would have a lot to say.
And I know that Baby and I would retell countless stories from our favorable memories.

Thank you for discussing about Rainbow Bridge.
Your Baby was sent to you for a reason and if you think. you will see what is was. I have had a lot of dogs in my life, not as many as I would have liked but everyone of them has given me something which I hope has made me a better person. I have so many friends today that I would not have met if there had not been Hektor and I know that your two young 'uns are adding to the love that Baby started. Illness is a dreadful thing for us to face and we know before we start our love affair that we are only their custodians for a short while so we have to be as good as we can because of it. Because you and your family did not walk away you gained a love which you will never forget and because of it you can continue to love. The pain does ease, one day you will think of something (just like you did in your piece) and it will make you smile. The sadness fades, the happy things come to the fore.
I tell Hektor about Henry and Angus and I know he understands.

Take care, we all have been where you sit so the one thing we will never say is that 'he was only a dog'.
Thank you Helena and Hektor.
I really do take the time with my pugs and tell them how much I love them. I do mention Baby (Babe) and when I do break down both comfort me with kisses and scratches (they scratch to keep my hands away from my face).
Pugs know how you feel. Thank you all for such comforting words and relations to the topic.


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